I've noticed the next step of 'I'm a nurse' psychology and it is much worse. As an ...., I want to say........ They add in their identities as some sort of adverb they can use at any given moment as if they have just adopted a role.
Just a few comments on this excellent article Simon. There is an great book by Frank Furedi entitled "100 years of identity crisis" which deals at length with what he calls "the medicalisation of human experience", how every aspect of humanity is turned into some sort of sickness. As you say, this supports the idea that everyone is a victim with no responsibility for themselves: they are just ill. I think this combines with the delay of maturity through extensions of the education system, the provision of safe spaces etc.: every person is encouraged never to grow up, to continue to allow other adults to take care of them as if they were still children at the age of 21 or more. The welfare state then takes over and reinforces all that. It is my view that, certainly in the UK, the centuries of dominance of the Christian church also played part by encouraging individuals not to take their own decisions but to ask their creator or their priest what they should do. On your point about what you for a living; when I was in business and mentoring younger people in the company, one of the first things I would say to them was to tell them "you are not your business card". In Hong Kong where I live, the first things people do on being introduced is to present their business card, as if to say "this is who I am"!
I am a huge fan of Frank Furedi, who is regarded in some quarters as being a heretic! You are right about the church too, and organised religion in general, encouraging folk to transfer responsibility for their actions to either the Deity or various elders and priests.
No one in my family smokes or drinks but my husband’s family are what l would call ‘piss heads!’ They like a drink, get drunk and enjoy the whole experience. I do believe we have choices but l also believe there is an addictive gene or something that we inherit from our past. I mean, we drank Mead before water in the U.K. for hundreds of years!
It's an interesting idea. My own family were heavy drinkers and I rather think that this is where I picked up the idea, rather than having it passed down through my parents' genes!
Very good article, yes I have noticed too, that when you keep going for help to all the increasingly different bodies, you are also giving some of your power to them. Same thing happens in some relationships. You get nothing for nothing in this life!
Thank you for this delightful and thought-provoking piece, Simon! One of my readers just alerted me to your presence on Substack (I recognized your name because my husband already follows you on YouTube) and this article specifically as it coincides with the piece I just published:
Enjoyed reading this, Simon. I'm two years teetotal and far more motivated, fitter and happier as a consequence. Binge drinking in early adulthood was undoubtedly somewhat influenced by the actions of my peer group - we're only young once - but even back then, I had plenty of spells of drinking less, and was more than capable of saying no had I really wanted to. Interestingly, in my own circle, the number of teetotallers has gone from zero to six in five years and the heavy drinkers have become far more sensible. All take responsibility for their own behaviour and have grown into excellent rolemodels for their peers, wives and children.
I too was a heavy drinker when I was younger. I don't think I was ever was fully sober for a number of years. I still rode my motorcycle to and from work without incident, was good at my job and as far as I am aware, it never affected any aspect of my life. At one point I was eating out every night with a friend, sharing a bottle or 2 of wine with the meal, then buying a bottle of vodka at the nearby off-licence which my friend and I finished that night. This was my evening routine for 6 months. I lost my job at that point for reasons I won't go into but which had nothing to do with my drinking habit. With no income, I couldn't afford to eat out every night nor buy vodka. I stopped drinking heavily there and then. It didn't stop me drinking at all, not did it prevent some later but rare occasions where I drank rather more than I should have.
The point is that drinking heavily was a choice I made, not an addiction, which is not to say that addiction isn't an issue with some people.
I'm a fellow traveller in the alcohol/introvert path. I laughed out loud when I read of your proposal that your wife pays you to be more engaging at social events. I'll put the same proposal to my wife.
Amazingly, my genes have, since then, proved not to be so influential as I used to claim, especially when my wife makes me attend a wedding or something...
I've noticed the next step of 'I'm a nurse' psychology and it is much worse. As an ...., I want to say........ They add in their identities as some sort of adverb they can use at any given moment as if they have just adopted a role.
Yes, I too have noticed this tendency!
Just a few comments on this excellent article Simon. There is an great book by Frank Furedi entitled "100 years of identity crisis" which deals at length with what he calls "the medicalisation of human experience", how every aspect of humanity is turned into some sort of sickness. As you say, this supports the idea that everyone is a victim with no responsibility for themselves: they are just ill. I think this combines with the delay of maturity through extensions of the education system, the provision of safe spaces etc.: every person is encouraged never to grow up, to continue to allow other adults to take care of them as if they were still children at the age of 21 or more. The welfare state then takes over and reinforces all that. It is my view that, certainly in the UK, the centuries of dominance of the Christian church also played part by encouraging individuals not to take their own decisions but to ask their creator or their priest what they should do. On your point about what you for a living; when I was in business and mentoring younger people in the company, one of the first things I would say to them was to tell them "you are not your business card". In Hong Kong where I live, the first things people do on being introduced is to present their business card, as if to say "this is who I am"!
I am a huge fan of Frank Furedi, who is regarded in some quarters as being a heretic! You are right about the church too, and organised religion in general, encouraging folk to transfer responsibility for their actions to either the Deity or various elders and priests.
No one in my family smokes or drinks but my husband’s family are what l would call ‘piss heads!’ They like a drink, get drunk and enjoy the whole experience. I do believe we have choices but l also believe there is an addictive gene or something that we inherit from our past. I mean, we drank Mead before water in the U.K. for hundreds of years!
It's an interesting idea. My own family were heavy drinkers and I rather think that this is where I picked up the idea, rather than having it passed down through my parents' genes!
Very good article, yes I have noticed too, that when you keep going for help to all the increasingly different bodies, you are also giving some of your power to them. Same thing happens in some relationships. You get nothing for nothing in this life!
Very true!
Thankyou!
Thank you for this delightful and thought-provoking piece, Simon! One of my readers just alerted me to your presence on Substack (I recognized your name because my husband already follows you on YouTube) and this article specifically as it coincides with the piece I just published:
• "On Fearing Freedom—Plus Thanking Substack for Standing up to the Censorship Bullies": https://margaretannaalice.substack.com/p/on-fearing-freedomplus-thanking-substack
To freedom! 🙌
I'm so glad that you liked it!
Enjoyed reading this, Simon. I'm two years teetotal and far more motivated, fitter and happier as a consequence. Binge drinking in early adulthood was undoubtedly somewhat influenced by the actions of my peer group - we're only young once - but even back then, I had plenty of spells of drinking less, and was more than capable of saying no had I really wanted to. Interestingly, in my own circle, the number of teetotallers has gone from zero to six in five years and the heavy drinkers have become far more sensible. All take responsibility for their own behaviour and have grown into excellent rolemodels for their peers, wives and children.
Yes, I think marriage and parenthood certainly help curb excessive consumption of alcohol! Wives are better than AA meetings in that respect...
I too was a heavy drinker when I was younger. I don't think I was ever was fully sober for a number of years. I still rode my motorcycle to and from work without incident, was good at my job and as far as I am aware, it never affected any aspect of my life. At one point I was eating out every night with a friend, sharing a bottle or 2 of wine with the meal, then buying a bottle of vodka at the nearby off-licence which my friend and I finished that night. This was my evening routine for 6 months. I lost my job at that point for reasons I won't go into but which had nothing to do with my drinking habit. With no income, I couldn't afford to eat out every night nor buy vodka. I stopped drinking heavily there and then. It didn't stop me drinking at all, not did it prevent some later but rare occasions where I drank rather more than I should have.
The point is that drinking heavily was a choice I made, not an addiction, which is not to say that addiction isn't an issue with some people.
Cursed those genes for everything was easier than taking the blame myself.
Yes, I too have found comfort in blaming my genes for stuff! It's like a get-out-of-jail free card.
A thought provoking article.
In my case, I was a 20-a-day smoker, for 10 years from the age of 15 years old.
I met my wife, who had never smoked in her life.
She never said anything, but I made the decision to give up and so stopped smoking overnight.
Amazing what subconscious influences have in finding a wife 😁
Indeed so, and wives for their part are also very good at helping one to conquer any genetic inclination to smoke or drink to excess!
I'm a fellow traveller in the alcohol/introvert path. I laughed out loud when I read of your proposal that your wife pays you to be more engaging at social events. I'll put the same proposal to my wife.
Amazingly, my genes have, since then, proved not to be so influential as I used to claim, especially when my wife makes me attend a wedding or something...