The one thing you really notice these days is the absolute reluctance to mention or discuss suicide.
This is particularly noticeable in the media, who will never report that someone has died of suicide, rather using terms such as ´died’, ´died suddenly’ or ‘died unexpectedly’. Again, this just obfuscates the truth, leads to confusion, and is probably counterproductive since (I imagine) a lot of people will just try searching the web to try and find out the circumstances.
I suspect this reluctance to discuss or mention suicide is borne out of something to do with not wanting to offend or upset the woke mob or Gen Z, who are ready to be offended and upset at anything and everything these days.
Society's obsession with sex, the notion that the more precisely one describes every detail of the "hows" and "whats" with no sense of constraint or demureness, the more enticing it becomes is perhaps the most mistaken concept of our time. You can talk something to its death they say -- and that is what has happened. A seemingly "frank" lecture on a talk show (especially by some lady, I find) on the ins and outs of sex makes it about as exciting as the instruction manual of my airconditioner. What we've lost is the knowledge that the less we say about some things, the more wonderous they become, the more attractive and promising. And the more we talk and talk, the more the subject matter distances itself and dissipates further and further away into nothing, leaving the hopeful empty, dissatisfied, and unfulfilled. All we need to do is look around our "free" world today.
The opposite occurs with death: I fully agree with you, Simon, that our approach is unrealistic and artificial. Rather than cultivate the fact that death in life is as natural as birth (though more painful due to the sense of loss it leaves behind) as all societies once did, we refuse to face it head-on, and avoid the dead and all matters of dying by quickly having some third party handle the corpse as well as all the paperwork -- and everything else.. We want no part of it.
I fully agree that we would all be more human to treat death as another natural step in life, by facing it, processing and accepting it as part of the unavoidable, natural fate of every living being.
On attitudes to death, John O'Donoghue's famous book Ana Cara describes the very different attitude of the Irish to a death of a friend or family member compared with the English. At an Irish wake, no one was walking about with a long face feeling sad about death, they were celebrating a life instead.
Linked to the tendency to describe every death as sad, is the requirement for senior politicians to immediately tweet after any natural disaster. If the PM when, say, a ferry sinks in the English Channel hasn't tweeted how sad he is within 15 seconds he will be in political trouble.
An uncle of mine was treated for cancer but actually did meet his end in a road accident! I think he was returning from the pub so that shortened the odds somewhat.
don't you think this phenomenon of imagining death is avoidable led to this cult of safetyism and the insane zero cvd policies? For example my 30 yo son won't forgive me because I wasn't wearing face diapers while visiting my 90+ yo father.
Morning Simon, I’m enjoying your essays it’s nice to have that bit more depth. I have to admit however, that I’m scared of dying because I don’t think that I will ever see my children and grandchildren again. We all live in the same house and are very close, the thought of my grandchildren being upset when I die is something I try not to think about too often as it makes me cry. I’m a 67 year old man so I hope I’m around for a few more years.
Well,, if it comes to that, I entertain the same hope! I am however keenly aware that the longer I live, the more the odds are against my making it through another year. I love my family of course, but having seen how quickly people seem to get over the deaths of their fathers and grandfathers, I'm sure that their grief will not be too long-lasting or severe!
Hello Simon, I agree with what you say, I titter to myself when I see people, especially older people , who think if they go running, follow a healthy diet, etc, etc, then death is an option, and it can be avoided.
The one thing you really notice these days is the absolute reluctance to mention or discuss suicide.
This is particularly noticeable in the media, who will never report that someone has died of suicide, rather using terms such as ´died’, ´died suddenly’ or ‘died unexpectedly’. Again, this just obfuscates the truth, leads to confusion, and is probably counterproductive since (I imagine) a lot of people will just try searching the web to try and find out the circumstances.
I suspect this reluctance to discuss or mention suicide is borne out of something to do with not wanting to offend or upset the woke mob or Gen Z, who are ready to be offended and upset at anything and everything these days.
Society's obsession with sex, the notion that the more precisely one describes every detail of the "hows" and "whats" with no sense of constraint or demureness, the more enticing it becomes is perhaps the most mistaken concept of our time. You can talk something to its death they say -- and that is what has happened. A seemingly "frank" lecture on a talk show (especially by some lady, I find) on the ins and outs of sex makes it about as exciting as the instruction manual of my airconditioner. What we've lost is the knowledge that the less we say about some things, the more wonderous they become, the more attractive and promising. And the more we talk and talk, the more the subject matter distances itself and dissipates further and further away into nothing, leaving the hopeful empty, dissatisfied, and unfulfilled. All we need to do is look around our "free" world today.
The opposite occurs with death: I fully agree with you, Simon, that our approach is unrealistic and artificial. Rather than cultivate the fact that death in life is as natural as birth (though more painful due to the sense of loss it leaves behind) as all societies once did, we refuse to face it head-on, and avoid the dead and all matters of dying by quickly having some third party handle the corpse as well as all the paperwork -- and everything else.. We want no part of it.
I fully agree that we would all be more human to treat death as another natural step in life, by facing it, processing and accepting it as part of the unavoidable, natural fate of every living being.
One of my favourite verses from " The Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám" ( Richard le Gallienne translation)
All those who in their graves unheeded lie
Were just as pompous once as You and I,
Complacent spake their little arrogant names,
And wagged their heads, and never thought to die.
I am a huge fan of the Rubaiyat, although only the Fitzgerald version! The attitude expressed in it towards death is elevated and correct.
Dear Simon,
Like you I am a fellow who calls a spade a spade, however, I have learned, sometimes the hard way, that it can be better to stay schtum.
Yes, keeping one's mouth shut is often the best option! It is a skill with which I still struggle...
No comment
Sorry replied to the wrong comment
On attitudes to death, John O'Donoghue's famous book Ana Cara describes the very different attitude of the Irish to a death of a friend or family member compared with the English. At an Irish wake, no one was walking about with a long face feeling sad about death, they were celebrating a life instead.
Linked to the tendency to describe every death as sad, is the requirement for senior politicians to immediately tweet after any natural disaster. If the PM when, say, a ferry sinks in the English Channel hasn't tweeted how sad he is within 15 seconds he will be in political trouble.
Yes indeed. I think that there must be some AI system in place for this, as the response from politicians is, as you say, lightning-quick!
An uncle of mine was treated for cancer but actually did meet his end in a road accident! I think he was returning from the pub so that shortened the odds somewhat.
Curses! There is always that one exception which destroys my carefully constructed rhetoric...
You nailed the “what”---“Today, attitude to sex and death have been neatly reversed”---
Now explore and explicate the “why”.
Coming soon, in a long post!
don't you think this phenomenon of imagining death is avoidable led to this cult of safetyism and the insane zero cvd policies? For example my 30 yo son won't forgive me because I wasn't wearing face diapers while visiting my 90+ yo father.
Yes, I think that is precisely right!
Morning Simon, I’m enjoying your essays it’s nice to have that bit more depth. I have to admit however, that I’m scared of dying because I don’t think that I will ever see my children and grandchildren again. We all live in the same house and are very close, the thought of my grandchildren being upset when I die is something I try not to think about too often as it makes me cry. I’m a 67 year old man so I hope I’m around for a few more years.
Well,, if it comes to that, I entertain the same hope! I am however keenly aware that the longer I live, the more the odds are against my making it through another year. I love my family of course, but having seen how quickly people seem to get over the deaths of their fathers and grandfathers, I'm sure that their grief will not be too long-lasting or severe!
Hello Simon, I agree with what you say, I titter to myself when I see people, especially older people , who think if they go running, follow a healthy diet, etc, etc, then death is an option, and it can be avoided.
If only that were the case! As I draw near the end of my own life, I think more about such things than once I did.
165,000 per year. Not surprising when in the 60's there must have been as many nuclear tests!